The World is a Caper!

Shit, somehow I just can't finish this freaking story. The one from last post. I guess that it still messes me up thinking about Alan - no, I'm not over it. Yes, it sucks. But what the hell can I do anyway? Take a look at this:

April 1st - one year since we've met.

April 4th - one year since he left.

April 7th - his fucking birthday.

Yeah ok, call me lunatic, whatever - I don't really fucking care. All I know is that it has been too hard NOT thinking about him these days, and it's been even harder THINKING about him these days. I have just gone through ALL of our e-mails and I cried like an asshole here. I miss him SO MUCH it hurts.

I'm seriously considering telling him I don't wanna hear from him anymore - but of course I won't ever say that, it would kill me. But THIS is killing me. So if I have to die from it anyway, at least I'll die with his e-mails and stuff.

That's all I have left anyway: words and memories. Bah!